Poser ass bitch is such a harsh term. I prefer " indecisive asshole" if you must. Looking back at my highschool years i can't really say i had a group. Every few months id find myself at some new lunch table, in some new clique, but id never subscribe to their bullshit. It would always seem that just as quickly as i appeared id vanish back into oblivion where id find another group to call friends for a few weeks. This wasn't the ideal way to spend ones glory years but fuck....worked for me and the pro to this was, i got to experience every cliques version of "the house party".
the band geek party.
location: Parents house, but their folks are gonna be home at like seriously 2 so ya know....super late but every one has to be gone by then.
start time: 4:00, soon as schools done head over, but seriously every one has to be long gone by 2.
end time: 10, my parents are gonna be home at 2......
food: Some one brought rice krispie treats. If there was a fucking rice famine there would still be rice krispie treats.
decorations: There will be a room with a black light.
drug of choice: HA
drink of choice: There is nothing in the house lets all walk to fucking wawa like a big giant parade of virginity.
the main thing going on at this party?: FINGER BANGING. all over the place. gotta build up that dexterity.
overall experience: I wasn't kidding about the finger banging. theres no booze, no drugs, but god damned if there isnt a shit ton of girls with blankets on their laps with some tuba players arm under neath and no matter how common place this becomes we all talk about it like we just saw hardcore porn. If you are lucky enough to reach third base (in tee-ball) you might want to go to a nice room. Your options are limited however to that one room with a black light.....and every one is gonna keep popping their head in. Also do not eat the rice krispies, they taste like the flag girls snatch.
the prep party
location: Their rich fucking parents house, and they wont be home for a week. Seriously every preppy person has parents who just do not give a fuck about leaving their kids at home for weeks. Its like they said "fuck it our kid became cool, even if they set the house on fire and die we pretty much still win"
start time: Fucking like 10. When the bands geeks are finishing up the preps are just getting started. I never got this either you got the house for the entire day start earlier but i guess the later it is the cooler it is? The late start time is so they can put on a sephoras worth of make up and spray tan.
end time: These things dont end, some where in wildwood theres still a preppy party going on from 2004.
food: I have no idea, you'd see people with food but never a table or any thing, the kitchen just has a keg in it. The grill will be on but there is no food and just jocks lighting shit on fire. Yet some fucking guy will walk by you with a hoagie. Insane
decorations: Christmas shit, dosent matter what time of the year. They saw clueless and think its cute as balls to have a snowman light up in the yard and every one is gonna go "omg thats so random". Side note, remember when brittany murphys charecter gets in the car with the snowman decoration and its still light up. how the fuck did that work? your driving away and this bitch is still plugged in? fuck.
drug of choice: dude....whatever you fucking want. My god I had preps pegged wrong. Rich kids buy good shit. You think cheerleaders dont blaze.....you're right, they'll look at you like "who the fuck invited frank god damn cline" or maybe im just speaking from experience.....
drink of choice: Miller lite kegs that every girl is gonna fuck up a keg stand on. Also like every absolute flavor you've ever imagined.
the main thing going on at this party: Fights. Just fights. Maybe some beer pong or flip cup.....that results in a fight. OH almost forgot theres gonna be one girl crying and every one will ask whats wrong but shes not gonna fucking tell you and the bitch is gonna take up the nice bathroom ALL NIGHT. so now we gotta use the shitty downstairs one that smells like motor oil.
overall experience: Your gonna get drugged. There is more molly going around here than at a breakfast club themed costume party (ha). Usually the hottest people of your school will be here and they'll be drunk as hell or high which was always a treat for me. Smoke a jay with the quaterback and have people ask you all night "do you go to school with us?"
the goth party
location: The fucking woods dude....always the god damn woods.
start time: Like three in the god damn morning youd get an invite over aim.
end time: When you wake up in the morning hungover laying on a log.
food: Pocky. like the best god damn junk food you've ever seen. This is why you fucks get acne, stop blaming god.
decoration: Stuffed animal from obscure kids shows.
drug of choice: Soggy ass blunts rolled by a kid named after a sate.
drink of choice: Either a warm brick of natty ice or vodka poured into a gatorade bottle.
the main thing going on at this party: Satan. No not really.....just inappropriate humor. maybe some metal music or something....also for a bunch of devil worshipers they are paranoid as fuck of shit in the woods.
overall experience: Goth kids are like the olive garden of cliques. When your there your family, youd think theyd hate every one but no....ive seen all types wander into the woods at ungodly hours to drink piss warm beer and smoke out of some wild ass water bong and goths were always happy to see them. They just want to be hugged, adopt one from your local hot topic today!
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